As we feared!! The Humans are attacking!

*Source: Times of India_PuneEdition23June09

Pig has decided to stand outside major airports and start shooting people showing flu like symptoms. Pig calls this very similar to the culling approach adopted by humans when the Bird flu did the rounds. Recent studies seem to indicate that Humans are now infecting Pigs with the virus thus making it necessary for the Pig consider culling options of Human species infecting other humans as well as pigs.

Pigloo and myself have been asked to join the team. Last seen, Pigloo seemed all excited and was heard saying something about being in a Resident Evil video game.

Pig is also planning to secretly visit relatives in Mexico to kick their butts for not taking a mudbath everyday. The importance of staying a squeaky pig is something that his relatives never understood. Pig is sure that this flu is a result of not taking a bath twice a day in the mud-pool next to the horse stable at the farm.

Pig is all the more hurt because when the hens had the same flu they called it a respectable ‘Bird flu’ and even Avian flu for the initiated rather than ‘Cock Flu‘. In order to protest against the usage of such derogatory terms and the gross discrimination against Pig’s own kind, Pig has decided to start a non-cooperation movement inspired by Mahatma Gandhi. As a part of this movement, all Pigs will refuse to turn themselves in to be made into Sausages, Salami, Ham or Bacon. In order to make this movement a success, Pig flew to NY. Last heard Pig was trying to get through immigration. I am sure I heard Pig call the guy at counter a swine!

Why on earth, I wonder, if we can’t be responsible citizens our country but at least show some care for the world we live in. No, we cant be because more than that sense of responsibility there is something more important and such as an episode of MTV Roadies or a favourite song of Rock On.

You must wondering why the Pig is so pissed off. Well that is because my flatmates Oink-Oink and Pigloo, did not turn out to be active participants of Earth Hour. Their justification - MSEB had taken care of Earth and Pune Hour through a power cut in the noon.

We complain,we crib about our system but I can’t see the same people actively doing some value addition to bring about that small change that we expect out of our system.

So what I did was sit in my room in the dark and listen to some nasal high-pitched song playing on the idiot box in my hall room.I feel distressed that though I been trying to encourage the world to voluntarily adhere to the Earth Hour but at my home I could not convince anyone.

I seriously think compatibility of roommates is very important and I was in half-a-mind to activate my profile in Pighunt.in and start looking for a roommate with just one simple requirement…Need to be a sensible and a responsible citizen.

Seems simple but challenging but I am sure I will find someone on Pighunt.in.

The Angry Pig

Those were like the best words I heard in a long time. Your sweat and toil ends up in a result that you were expecting and that makes your day. The Pig wanted a Nano launch. So we gave a Nano launch on the day that the car Nano was launched in Mumbai. Ground-breaking events I say!

We will be looking forward to the support and love of people who know us, love us and those who will start knowing and falling in love with us very soon. I am so drunk on happiness that I cannot type anymore. Let the bubbles flow…I am the proud father of a Pig!

For the first glimpse of the cute Pig check - www.pighunt.in

The other day I missed out on Bccing our dear members while shooting the email, and I got a good thrashing from the team and even my best friend Pig didn’t forgive me for the small nuisance. He is annoyed..he doesn’t talk and above all Oink-Oink is keeping no stone unturned in aggravating the things (bole tho full garam masala).He suggested the Pig that Pigloo needs a break. So everyone suggested that I should go back home, take some rest and return refreshed.

The best part working with these people is you make a mistake and there you can start humming.. .’Mama am coming home!!!’ …as the very next day you are handed a return air ticket. I had planned a 15 days leave but these guys can’t see this poor chap having a great time so yesterday only I got a message “WE ARE READY”. But ready for holy frigging what!!! Guyz.. bring your ears close I will tell you a secret. But you must promise me that you will not leak this or else this time they will send me back and this time with no return.

So all of you have say this aloud, “BY GOD I wont tell any one”.  Ok Good…I hear you! Phew, now I feel secure. The inside scoop is that we are ready for a beta version launch and guess what a launch  it will be. Some of the most eminent personalities of the Bollywood industry including - SRK and Bachchan & family…are going to…going to what!!

Arre kuch nahi these people are phokatiyas (stingy misers)…Bollywood, they can’t even get Tolly, Molly or Polly Wood also. Actually, Oink-Oink Pig feel they are more famous than SRK and Bachchan.

Ohhh last call for Pigloo to board flight no. 666. Holy crap …out of so many flight numbers this was the only number these people can offer me.

Time to go guyz… do look for our much awaited launch on not the leading newspapers or channels but on your own computer screens. Ciao!

A. The pig squealed to the police.

Q. What does the little pig get every morning from his parents?

A. Hogs and kisses!

Q. What do you call a crafty pig?

A. CunningHam

Q. Why did the pig run away from the pig sty?

A. He felt that the other pigs were taking him for grunted.

Q. What does a pig use to write his term papers with?

A. Pen and Oink!

Q. What do you call a pig with no legs?

A. A groundhog!

Q. Why didn’t the piglets listen to the teacher pig?

A. Because he was an old boar.

After a couple of minutes, it picks up the slip and takes it back to the clerk at the counter. The clerk picks it up, reads it, “Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, stop.”

He looks at the pig, and says, “You know, you get 10 words for $3.50. You could add three more words to this.”

The pig looks at the clerk and says, “Well, I could, but it wouldn’t make much SENSE THEN, would it!“

Pigloo exclaimed, ‘But you haven’t even got an admission yet, Pig!’

‘I know but I have to be prepared or I will never get a room in time’, said the Pig

‘He is correct’, agreed Oink-Oink. Oink-Oink agreed to everything Pig said and this infuriated Pigloo.

‘Abbe, what he is correct? Does he even know where and how to look? It is better he looks once he reaches Pune’, corrected Pigloo.

‘I will hunt at Pighunt.in’, announced the Pig proudly.

‘Pighunt.in’, exclaimed Pigloo and Oink-Oink together, ‘What is that? Your father made it kya?’ asked Pigloo

‘Pighunt.in is a new website that will help me find a room or roommates in Pune. It even allows me to find roommates who are in the same college I am joining’, said Pig confidently.

‘Yes that may work,’ agreed Oink-Oink

‘Oh yea! It will work you say. All pigs***…let us see if he manages to even get a broom, forget a room!’ said Pigloo defiantly.

Pig stormed out to find a cyber café. Pigloo watched him go and kept shaking his head, ‘Idiot!’

Oink-Oink sat wondering, ‘How did the Pig find a site called Pighunt.in? Isn’t that weird?’